R.I.P Mama

The chill that runs down my spine, the fatigue, the pain…
My heart literally aches, and I just can’t explain it.
I thought I could handle it; nothing could be farther from the truth.

My only consolation is in your last words. You were happy and at peace!
I know you’re in a better place — free from cancer pain — no more morphine.

The things you’ve been through.
You’ve endured suffering and pain.
No matter what I feel, there’s no way I’d want you to go through that again.
You can rest in peace now, Mama.
Death seems to be kinder than life. Quite an irony, eh?

The heavens have decided, it was time to go yonder.
Yonder place where the stars are shining so bright!

Knowing that I can never get a hug from you again is the reason my pillows are soaking wet at dawn. Oh, how I miss you, Mama.

I collected your grave-sand and brought it all the way to the UK.
I clench your grave-sand so hard, hoping it might bring us closer.
But this dark brown grave-sand of yours only add colour to my tears, Mama.

I’d wrap your blanket on me, but it doesn’t stop the cold, this chill that runs down my spine; who can help me now?

Oh Lord, You’ve drilled a hole in my heart, and only You can mend it.

Until we meet again, never to be separated again.
Please catch a good spot next to your mansion for me.
Rest on, Mama.

Much love,
Your last-born X